Star One Smart Blog's

UPDATE HERE! Iowahawk's Director of the National Handgun Violence Taskforce, speaking...

---

It's on, folks, the Midwest's best Carbon-Generating Fuel-Consuming Blog Writer in fine print today, has thrown his wit into the Presidential Race!


And lead us he can! He's solved the Environmental Scientist overbuildup issue, with enough of 'em left over to cure overblown AIDS and, just maybe, get us back to the Moon, with those big Saturn V boosters he's using on his farm equipment...

"The scientific debate is over: man-made global warming is real. Finally! This means we can now stop paying for all those expensive redundant research projects to prove global warming. Not only will this save over $2 billion dollars per year in federal spending, we will see significant reductions in CO2 as unemployed global warming scientists sell off their Volvos and move to mud huts.

To further help reduce the nation's carbon footprint, I will order the Environmental Protection Agency to bulldoze the mansions of Al Gore, John Edwards, John Kerry, and Laurie David, and convert them to more eco-friendly use as free public drag strips."

That's just the tip of this melting IceBurge...

Today, our esteemed candidate picked Jeff Goldstein as Veep

"As my Vice President, Jeff will preside over the US Senate, lead policy initiatives, and act as my personal anti-assassination insurance policy."

Indeed, that's insurance better than Lloyds of London, and allows Mr. Burge to forgo any Secret Service protection...of the male sort. There's always room for the ladies, especially those who carry Uzis and and Grenade Launchers!

Get on over there, and read the endorsements from all over the Internet! (well, at least from those who appreciate the best America can offer; Hot Rods, Beautiful Women, and Strong Liquor), and who can resist a party plank like this one:

“Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms” should be a convenience store, not a Federal Agency."

There you go.

It's a movement. Fred, you've sat around long enough to allow some real competition to emerge!

Aren't you sorry you didn't jump sooner?

---

Oh, and The Sticker: Dan Collins emailed me with the 'specs for the contest and his design ideas; I just put it together.
What better post than to put in one of the 'Gilmore Greats' I've been sitting on? This one's a real Doozy...