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Too close to home to ignore this one...Fox News is reporting that Ibrahim Ahmed, who might just be Muslim (you know, that religion of peace...) got in an argument with a couple of college kids about...some religion. Then ran their disagreeable butts over.

Now, this is Nashville, where the college is Vanderbilt, not known for good football or rednecks. You would think the kids were properly trained in Political Correctness 101, and should know better than to discuss (or disagree) with whatever Mr. Stinky Cabdriver says, especially if he is beginning to speak in a loud voice....not that they provoked him or anything...

Hypothetical Student 1: Hey, Driver Dude, can you take us back to Memorial Hall?

Stinky Cab Driver: Ah, you say Confederate Memorial Hall? That right?

Hypothetical Student 2: That's right! But we don't call it that anymore.

SCD: You call it or not, that's the name. You live with it now, you see.

HS 1: Whatever. We wanted to change the name. We got sued.

HS 2: Yeah, we try to make things right so everyone is feeling good about everyone else, we owe because our ancestors hurt people's feelings...for generations. You don't have these problems, do you?

SCD: You try to change everyone. You can't change anyone. Those Shiítes, you can't change. We Sunnis believe that the Shiites are the most evil creatures under the heavens. They are worse that the Jews!

HS1: That's ridiculous! You can't believe that. You are Muslim, and Islam is the religion of peace!

HS2: That's right! Why don't you try to get along with the Shiites, anyway? You're all share the same religion, the same prophet!

SCD (voice rising ominiously): NOT THE SAME! I am Sunni; Al-Qaeda is Sunni; Hezbollah is Shiite! What, you promote we should lie together like pigs in slop? Why you want to make us alike each other?

HS1 (worriedly): Now, hold on, we're just trying to understand...why is a Sunni a Sunni and a Shiite a Shiite?

SCD (has that rage thing going by now): You IDIOT! You KNOW that Muhammad (peace be upon him) wanted his successors to vote on Islam's next Caliphs, when Muhammad (peace be upon him) died, our Sunni leaders chose Caliph Abu Bakr, by tradition. Forked Shiites tried to put the Prophet's Cousin Ali in as Caliph! That was WRONG, and we've been cutting off heads ever since!

HS2 (looking for the door handle) Ummm...wasn't that a long time ago?

SCD (no stopping this train): The Shiites are NOT TRUE MUSLIMS! We won't let them visit Mecca by the front door! Most Muslims are Sunnis, only 15 in 100 are pig-headed Shiites! They live in Iran and Syria, and are 6 of 10 in Iraq, but WE ARE GOING TO EXTERMINATE THEM!

HS1: Uh...we gotta get out here...but why, why, are Shiites attacking Sunnis in Iran? Why not work together, and drive out the invaders?

SCD (frothing and near apoplexy): YOU IMBECILES! Don't they teach nothing in America except Great Satan Worship? Al-Qaeda, al-Zarqawi, blew up the Pig Shiite's Golden Mosque, one year ago, with the tombs of the last two false imams! So, Shiites attack Sunnis. So, we must attack Shiites!

HS2 (getting out of the cab): Isn't that what al-Zarqawi wanted, to make Sunni and Shiite fight against each other, and destroy any chance of a democratic government in Iraq, thereby allowing Iran's Islamic Jihadists to take over Iraq, after the Americans pull out in shame? Isn't it great that we blasted al-Zarqawi?

HS1: And what's really up with these 72 Virgins? I mean, they don't stay virgins for long, do they? And how does a ghost get laid, anyway?

HS1 (feeling his oats, now, out of the cab): And we know that the top Shiite, the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is expecting the second coming of the 12th imam, the "Mahdi", and if he gets here by way of Armageddon, the Sunnis are pretty much finished, huh? No tip for you, bub, but have this bag of cracklins on us!

"According to the incident report, Ahmed then returned to his cab as the students fled on foot. Ahmed then allegedly drove across a parking lot, jumped a curb and struck the two men. One of the students, identified as Jeremy Invus, was taken to Vanderbilt University Medical Center with critical injuries. The other passenger, Andrew Nelson, avoided the cab.

"Hospital spokeswoman Kathy Rivers told FOX News that Invus is recuperating and does not want to talk to the media about the incident.

"Ahmed, charged with assault and attempted homicide, is being held on $300,000 bond. He also was also charged with theft because police said the license plate on his cab was listed as stolen."

Damn, but these religious arguments can really get out of hand, can't they?

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