Star One Smart Blog's

File Under: Tömfoolery

I got one of those goofy emails about, you know, "A true friend is not one who sends some cutesy smiley-faced poem everyone hates, but one that snaps you back to reality in a hurry" type of things. So I decided to 'play around' with it a little:

Answer to "Friendship" Emails!

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" Poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card -- just the stone cold truths of a real friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. When you lose your job -- I will give you a big hug and irritate the hell out of you until you get another job.

This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask?, "Because you are my
friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Don't you get sick of these stupid e-mails requesting you to send this to "10" of your friends, then you get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me....I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember...when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !

**Sigh...** But do check out the Shot Glass Chess Boards. That's worth reading this damn thing to the end!