Star One Smart Blog's

UPDATE 4/7/07

Timothy L. Kubena

That's the name of the krazed kicker.

Looks like neither of my theories are holding water; Kubena isn't a name associated with any known Islamic fundies. There was no girlfriend or wife named in the article. Kubena is a Russian name; there's Kubena Lake in Russia, which feeds the Sukhona River. Which freezes over from October to May. A lot like Wisconsin, eh?

Maybe Timothy L. Kubena just had a little too much vodka before his museum visit...

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Here's a bad scene:

MILWAUKEE — A man who claimed he found the subject disturbing put his foot through a 17th-century painting valued at $300,000 at the Milwaukee Art Museum.

David Gordon, museum CEO and director, said the 1640 work, "The Triumph of David" by Ottavio Vannini, was hanging in the museum's Early European Gallery when the incident happened Wednesday.

Hmmm, so you go to a Museum to view...paintings, sculpture, things created centuries ago (and, unless it's excreted or smeared by excretion, or suspended in urine, probably wouldn't be recognized as art in today's haute coture culture, avante garde elitist art world) and you see something you probably wouldn't see, fictionally, today (well, you could view the Daniel Pearle execution videos, but those are real. Thanks, Islamic Fascism.)

My guesses are 1) his girlfriend dragged him, kicking and screaming, to the museum. He stands idly around, pretending to be interested, then sees Goliath's severed head, cut off by his own sword, held up for all to marvel at (including the Philistines, who then ran, pursued by the Israeli army.) This is just an uneducated redneck, too far from his meth supply.

Or:

I found this interesting excerpt, from the Wiki article quoted above; the Quran's version of this ancient Jewish saga:

When Goliath set eyes on the lean young man who looked like a boy, he laughed loudly and roared: "Are you out to play war with one of your playmates, or are you tired of your life? I will simply cut off your head with one swipe of my sword!"

David shouted back: "You may have armor, shield, and sword, but I face you in the name of Allah, the Lord of the Israelites, Whose laws you have mocked. Today you will see that it is not the sword that kills but the will and power of Allah!"

Maybe that's what set the unnamed young 22-year-old man off: this beheader didn't look like a proper 'Islamic warrior'. No AK's, no hidden faces, here David is right out in the open. Not your proper Terrorist™. They have to stay hidden, plotting in their secret craven caverns, waiting for a good suicide mission, or better yet, a roadside bomb. Can't just go out and face a giant, alone, and rely on the power of Allah, nosiree. You have to hide and lurk and make sure you kill kids and women, just to have the world press's attention focused on you...I'll be interested in finding out the kicking kid's background: uneducated, beer-guzzling, backyard BBQ'ing, 'neck, or, of some background where David and his methods aren't well-respected, much, anymore.

I guess the Bargello is lucky the kid didn't see Donatello's statue of David Standing on the Head, or he really would have flipped out...